Page 2, Betrayed as Boys

In my discussion, I will draw on the existing body of literature about sexually abused men and illustrate from my own clinical practice how these themes recur in psychodynamic psychotherapy and psychoanalysis with them. Many of the stories of abuse recounted in this book are difficult to read. They were difficult for me to hear and believe when my patients told them. I have tried to convey the horror of these men's boyhood abuse, giving details of the sexual activity involved without sensationalizing it. Readers themselves may experience some measure of the trauma involved as they reflect on what these men endured as boys.

Soon after I started writing this book, I attended a conference about male sexual victimization. I had been floundering to find my voice as I wrote, unsure of who my audience really was. At the conference, I met three men and one woman who allowed me to find my focus. I wrote this book trying to speak to these individuals and others like them.

The first was a graduate student in science at a university in a western state, a young man who had only recently begun to realize the extent of his boyhood sexual betrayal. He had found an understanding therapist, but had not told anyone else about his abuse. Nor did he know any other men with sexual abuse histories. He came to the conference with trepidation, and there he was amazed to find a community of (mostly) men who seemed to understand the issues he had struggled with in virtual solitude. He was exhilarated when we met, saying he was happy and feeling more freely connected to others than he ever had before.

The second man was a therapist from a small city in the Midwest. He was experienced in treating a wide range of individuals, and was clearly earnest and serious about his work. A growing number of men with sexual abuse histories were coming into his practice, and he found that the principles of therapy he had learned during his training did not always seem to apply to his work with them. The professional books he had consulted helped some, but they concentrated mainly on sexually abused women, and their framework only partially fit the work he was doing with men. He tried networking with other professionals in the conservative community he lived in. Many seemed not to understand that men could be sexually abused and felt he was on some private, quixotic mission, possibly for dark countertransferential reasons. Some therapists who worked with female rape victims were more helpful, but others seemed to believe that men were rarely if ever abused, and that any man coming for treatment about abuse was himself an abuser. Feeling professionally isolated and overburdened, he turned to the Internet for information. There, he found several useful web sites, and also saw a notice for the conference where we met. It was scheduled to begin two weeks later. Quickly changing his vacation schedule, he traveled across the country to this meeting. It was a revelation for him to talk there to other therapists who for years had been grappling with issues related to male sexual victimization. In workshop after workshop, he learned more and more about work with this population, discovered he had a lot to offer other practitioners about treatment, and found a clinician in a city about three hours away from him who was experienced in working with sexually abused men and was willing to serve as a consultant and supervisor when they returned home.

The third man was an experienced psychoanalytically trained therapist from a southeastern community. Of retirement age, he said he came to the conference for help in writing an article about treating patients with trauma histories. At first, his comments at presentations focused on the intellectual and didactic components of what was being addressed. He seemed to be trying to minimize or deflect others from the wells of feeling that were being tapped by the material. After listening to both therapists and nonclinicians express their emotional responses to what they were hearing, he rigidified his intellectualized approach until he was confronted about this by another member of a workshop he took. He grew silent, then, astonishingly, began to weep. He poured out the story of his own childhood sexual abuse. In the fifty or more years since these experiences, he had never hinted about them to another soul except his analyst, and even then he apparently had minimized their impact. By the end of the conference, he found several kindred spirits, seemed looser and far more open, and also achieved his initial goal of learning more about the psychological impact of trauma.

The fourth person I met at the conference was a woman who worked at a rape intervention program in a big inner-city hospital. Her agency, originally dedicated to working with women sexually mistreated as adults or children, was treating increasing numbers of men with sexual abuse histories. She saw many of these men for brief therapy, and also ran short-term groups for them, sometimes with a male colleague and sometimes alone. The men resembled in important ways the women she was used to treating. She had grown increasingly aware, however, of differences between the two groups, and had come to this conference to crystallize her thinking in order to work better with a male population.

As I address a readership of individuals like these four, my writing, like my clinical work, is informed by my background in interpersonal psychoanalysis , family systems theory, and work with trauma. I expect readers to have had diverse professional and theoretical experiences, and I therefore discuss theory and research that will be new to some but familiar to others. In particular, I have emphasized the theoretical underpinnings that influence my understanding of such important issues as masculine gender identity, sexual orientation, family systems, dissociative processes, and transference/countertransference phenomena. These theoretical discussions are interlaced with the clinical examples that appear throughout the book.

This book is structured as follows: In the first chapter, terms are explained, research is summarized, and the population of men described in the book is defined. The second, third, and fourth chapters develop ideas about how boys are likely to encode premature sexual situations with women as well as with men, and how these processes interact with internalized ideas about masculinity and homosexuality. The fifth and sixth chapters analyze the familial and interpersonal contexts of abuse and their influence on a boy's responses to sexual trauma. The seventh chapter describes the dissociative process that often helps a child survive an initial abuse experience, but then is problematic if it becomes his characteristic way of dealing with stress. The eighth chapter demonstrates how early sexual trauma, chronic boundary violation, and dissociation all influence an adult man's interpersonal relatedness. The ninth and tenth chapters focus on the vicissitudes of therapeutic relationships with sexually abused men. The eleventh chapter concentrates on working with sexually abused men in group therapy.

My writing is deeply influenced by my belief that, for most sexually abused men in psychotherapy and psychoanalysis, symptom removal is not nearly sufficient as a goal. Instead, these men want and need to develop a more nearly consolidated sense of self, a greater attunement to their emotional lives, and an increased ability to develop and maintain a tie with an intimate other. And, I believe, this is most likely to happen in a therapeutic experience that carefully examines the relational aspects of all actions and internal psychological events.

I do not intend to dictate to clinicians about how men sexually abused as boys should be treated. To try to write such a book would do a deep disservice to the uniqueness, complexity, and ambiguities of each man's life trajectory and individuality. It would compartmentalize the diverse experiences my patients had as boys who were sexually betrayed and, later, as men who dealt with their sexual betrayals in singular ways. It would also falsely imply that I work the same way with men with similar histories.

Instead, my intention is to raise, delineate, and develop the themes that often face the man with such a history and the clinician working with him. I expect that each therapist treating this population will develop distinct styles of working, based partly on the sub-population he or she treats; partly on his or her own personality as well as theoretical and professional interests; and partly on the life situation of the man in therapy.

When I'm in my consulting room with a sexually abused man, the themes I outline in this book usually recede into the background as the intricacies of his specific situation, history, and character become the foreground of our work. No one is fully defined by an abuse history. In my clinical illustrations, therefore, I do not limit myself to issues directly related to sexual betrayal. Instead, I try to describe individuals as they revealed themselves to me, communicating the diversity, fullness, and uniqueness of each treatment situation. (Readers wishing to integrate multiple descriptions of these men may want to consult the Clinical Cross-References in the back of the book.) Inevitably, however, my portrayals lose some of the distinctiveness and complexity of each man and of our work together as I use them to highlight a particular theme or technique. For this, I apologize both to the reader and to the men I discuss.

Most of all, I give my heartfelt thanks to those who gave me permission to describe our work. My relationships with the thirty-eight men I have written about in this book have moved me and changed how I look at human interaction. These men have courageously faced terrifying pasts. As I once wrote, "Their stories have stirred me, their resolution in the face of their histories has astonished me. I have learned from them more than I can say."